Hiding behind the hat - Neurodiversity in Women

Thursday of this week was Ladies' Day at Royal Ascot, a day synonymous with elegance, grandeur, and the quintessential British hat. Yet, beneath these stylish headpieces, many women are concealing more than just their hair; they are hiding their neurodivergence. At Ascot, I spoke to numerous women about their experiences with neurodiversity, a term encompassing conditions including ADHD, dyslexia, ASD, and ADD among others.

Neurodiversity refers to the wide range of differences in individual brain function and behavioural traits, all considered part of the normal variation within the human population. Despite this, many neurodivergent women feel compelled to mask their differences to fit in socially. Masking involves altering behaviour to conform to societal expectations, a strategy that often leads to exhaustion and a diminished sense of self.

Unmasking, on the other hand, is the process of letting one's guard down. For neurodivergent women, this requires a safe and supportive environment. The essence of true inclusion isn't just extending an invitation but ensuring that everyone feels genuinely welcomed and free to express their authentic selves. A lady in attendance articulated it as “The most important thing isn’t always asking them to the dance, it is asking them to dance.”

Historically, neurodivergence was predominantly associated with men and boys, leading to the underdiagnosis and misdiagnosis of women and girls. Neurodivergent women present differently to men, hence all the established signs of neurodiversity are those which are associated with men and boys. Fortunately, this is changing. Increasingly, women are discovering their neurodivergence later in life, finding validation and relief in their diagnoses. These diagnoses bring a crucial understanding: thinking differently can be a strength if viewed through the right lens.

Many neurodivergent women shared that they received their diagnoses late and they have developed strategies to navigate daily challenges. They emphasised the importance of raising awareness about neurodiversity and fostering supportive networks. People are often more understanding and adaptable than we might assume, especially when made aware of the unique challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals.

As a neurodivergent person myself, I recognise the difficulty in articulating these experiences and the fear of misconceptions. However, knowing one's needs and advocating for them is essential. It is this self-advocacy that allows us to break through invisible barriers, achieve our goals, and make meaningful contributions to society.

Ultimately, neurodivergent women should be free to be their true selves. Their unedited contributions are invaluable, and the world benefits greatly when they are encouraged to shine.

It’s time to stop hiding behind the hat and embrace the full spectrum of neurodiversity.